By Brian Tracy
Everyone wants to be popular with others. You want to be liked and respected among your friends, family, and associates. Above all, you want to like and respect yourself, and to feel yourself to be a valuable and important person. Fortunately, everything you do that makes other people feel good about themselves makes you feel good about yourself as well. You can actually improve the way you feel by making other people feel important. This is the key to great personal relationships.
The Easiest WayThe first need that each person has is for acceptance. Whenever you express unconditional acceptance of another person, his or her self-esteem goes up. The person feels valuable and important as a unique and special individual.
An Attitude of Gratitude
The need for appreciation is a deep subconscious desire of every person you meet. When you satisfy this need, you will become one of the most popular people in your world. And what is the key to expressing gratitude and appreciation? Simple. Just say, "thank you" on every occasion.
The Deepest Craving of All
Perhaps the deepest emotional need that people have is the desire for praise and approval. Each person is deeply affected by the quality and quantity of approval they get from others, especially others who they respect very much.
Looking Good
Another way to build self-esteem in others, and to make them feel important, is to express admiration on every occasion. Make it a policy to admire people for their accomplishments, behaviors, possessions, and personality traits.
Practice "White Magic"
This means practice listening closely to others when they are talking. It is one of the most powerful self-esteem building behaviors of all. Whenever you listen attentively to another, their heart rate speeds up. They feel happier and more valuable. They like and respect you more as a result. The more you listen closely to another person, the more that person feels that you are important and valuable as well.
Four Keys to Listening
The keys to effective listening are simple. First, listen attentively, without interrupting. Second, pause before replying. Don't rush in with whatever is on your mind. Third, questions for clarification by asking, "how do you mean?" Finally, feed it back in your own words.
The Great Design
As Aristotle said, "Man is a social animal." We live our lives within the context of our relationships with others. The more and better relationships we have, the happier and busier we are. The more you stay involved with other people, the longer you will live and the more enjoyable will be those years.
Action Exercise
Pick out the person that you like the least that you deal with on a day to day basis. Next time you see that person admire something about them. You can comment on their dress, grooming, work or even their possessions. You will be surprised how differently that person will react to you in the future.
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